I’ve come up with 5 simple ways to make fast cash…
Get a Job
Any job really. It doesn’t matter because you want to make fast cash now! In the grand scheme of the life of the universe, two weeks till pay day is a micro instance of time. Here’s a couple steps to get you started:
- Write up a resume.
- Fill out an application at the place where money is made (a business).
- Return the application with the resume to a person who makes money.
- Repeat the process until you get a job.
Hit the Slots
No brainer here. You are guaranteed to win a jackpot if you put enough in. I’m not going to go into the details about statistics, rates of return and stupid things like profits and losses. But if you are serious about making some fast cash then this is one of the quickest ways to get the cash rolling…in? out? I forget which one it is.
Take out a Loan
If you are looking to make fast cash then I’m sure you’ve heard of the term other peoples money. Win the hearts and wallets of friends, family or anyone else willing to lend a helping hand. Secured, unsecured? Who cares! Interest rate of 25% ? No problem! It’s other peoples money after all.
Participate in a Clinical Trial
Side effects include: Dry mouth, constipation, dizziness, nausea, heart palpitations, severe diarrhea, painful eyes, swollen body, seizures, Cosby syndrome, unwanted thoughts, wanted thoughts, and sudden risk of death.
Totally worth it! Make fast cash am I right?!
Make fast cash with the worlds second oldest profession…thief. Being a professional thief isn’t as hard as it sounds. You just need the right tools for the job and a little help from a mentor. I’d suggest heading down to your local neighborhood meth house and fast track the whole thing. Make fast cash!
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